You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
