yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
