is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Randomize
