She is in my trunk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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