let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
