the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
