CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize