Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
