Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
