It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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