Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
