got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
