You're completely useless in the revolution.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize