I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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