He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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