i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
