Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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