Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
