Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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