I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
