Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
