she woke up with a sticky ear
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We talked him into tasing himself.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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