I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize