I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
