u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Actions speak louder than pants.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize