I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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