I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
