I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
