waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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