We're facebook friends in real life
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
