Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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