Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
