He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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