Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
me + whiskey = a bad person
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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