the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
