I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
