you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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