this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
