i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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