I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
