STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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