NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We are two peas in an std pod
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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