If that was your dad, he is hot
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
