Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
