hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
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