i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
