i was born a porn star she said
Princesses don't give blow jobs
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
