I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
