You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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