Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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