After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Let's paint friendship bongs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
