Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
