i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
