Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
