do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
