Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
