okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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