it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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