Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
