I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize