I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
