He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
