im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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