six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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