He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
