Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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