me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
