the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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