The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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