Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
