just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
