Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
