it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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