Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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