I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
