apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
