this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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