She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize