I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
