The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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