yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize